That’s right, that’s a cookie. Well, two of them anyway.
Before I make myself sit here and think of my goals for 2014 I’m going to force myself to think of all that occurred in my 2013.
- Probably the biggest thing is my sister Shelly having a baby and me being there for everything in the hospital. That’s a major first for me and a major first in that I’m learning how to deal with babies which I’ve never been very good at.
- I started a cookie business without really thinking much about it or meaning to.
- Half of my department at work (that’s 2 people) didn’t come back this year and neither did my old boss as he retired.
- My aunt moved in with me for about 6 months during which time she slowly started driving me insane and during which I ate copious amounts of chocolate.
- I began to hate my new boss. I began to resent my school administrators for not caring how much work they dumped on me.
- I exercised less than I have in probably two years.
- I gained about 15 lbs.
- I relapsed on a lot of bad habits.
All in all, 2013 could have been better but it could have been much worse. What I really want to focus on this year is getting back to a healthy weight, exercising on a regular basis, and finding some time to be present in my life.
Getting back to a healthy weight means a change in a couple areas of my life. For one, I need to start exercising again and this means finally throwing in the towel on the whole running thing. My body just isn’t the same since the accident. I cannot seem to get back into it without a bunch of aches and pains which just make me take days off. Walking and cycling will be my new things. Once I start exercising, I typically start eating better (why oh why are they sooooo closely linked?). I need to be mindful of what I put into my body. It’s no coincidence that I feel like crap all of the time when I’m eating crap all of the time. Balance. I need to be sure I take some time for ME and actually do something which betters ME.
I started this paragraph thinking I had something else in my list but I guess I don’t. Taking care of my body pretty much encompasses everything I feel the worst about right now. Must fix!
What about you? What are your goals for the new year?
Christmas is coming.
It’s been my favorite time of year since I was a little girl – mainly because it was always my grandmother’s favorite time of year. We would literally haul box after box of Christmas decorations out of the basement and replace every single decorative item in her house with one which had a Christmas theme. It was a ton of work but we never really minded, it was a family tradition.
Those days are gone. I have a few of her Christmas decorations in a shadow box on my wall and fond memories of she and I sitting in the dark looking at the Christmas lights on the tree, the horrible task of decorating the mantle because it was always a pain to get everything just right, and the way she would make marshmallow pie and tint one red and the other green.
These days, Christmas seems to mean less and less. My family, once held so firmly together by the rock which was my grandmother, scattered, leaving behind just my mother and my sisters and myself. The Christmas day of recent years was spent with me making a feast only to have my family come, eat, open gifts soon thereafter and then leave quickly – never lingering around in the evening the way we always did at my grandmother’s house. As the last family member leaves my heart sinks and I’m left feeling lonely.
This year I’m struck by all the changes in my life. It’s been 10 years since my grandmother passed away. A decade of missing her and wishing she were here to talk with and laugh with. A decade of change. A decade of becoming someone vastly different from the person I was when she last knew me. Cookie queen that I am these days I often wonder what she would make of my cookie decorating hobby which I’ve picked up in the past year. Just a year ago this week I made my first attempts at cookie decorating. My grandmother was no baker. I remember her doing holiday baking from time to time. It was always a quick affair, little fanfare and always rushed in the final touches. She had no patience for it, didn’t like it, and only did it because her family enjoyed the results. I wonder what she would think of the patience I show in my endeavors. I wonder what she would say.
In the past two weeks I’ve made 23 dozen cookies or so. It seems so crazy. I decided some time over the weekend I wouldn’t be taking any more orders. The stress of the past two weeks has taken its toll and I need to remind myself it is a money making hobby, not an actual part time job. Plus, I have presents to wrap, treats to make for my family, and I really would like to make cookies to give to my neighbors. All of which I SHOULD have time to do if I simply make the time for it. I don’t want the remaining time before Christmas Eve to be a mad rush in which I feel as though I have little time and cannot enjoy the moments in which I feel the spirit of the season. I want to watch Christmas movies as I leisurely wrap my gifts.
And so I will.
I hope everyone else out there will take the time to be present in the moment over the next week and a half.
I don’t want to turn this into a teacher blog but it’s going to be from time to time.
We had a faculty meeting tonight and our administrator said “Gone is the generation of kids who did things because they are supposed to. This generation won’t do anything just because they’re supposed to, so we have to work around that.”
My question is…. why are those students gone? In what ways has our society changed so that this is now the norm? Is it because few people have learned to take responsibility for their actions? Have our children watched us passing the buck a few too many times? Or is it something else?
Where are those children and how do we get them back? Can we get them back?