60 seconds inside my head

This is my life:  I am sitting here feeling mopey about life, feeling jaded about dating, wondering if I have social anxiety or if I’m merely just an introvert, and listening to the ambient noise of one of my cats vomiting in the basement.

And now I’m off to find one of those ENFJ personality test things.

What if I’m an introvert AND have social anxiety?

Then again, I can’t possibly have social anxiety if I’m one of those strange, extroverted teachers, right?  Or maybe it’s a control freak issue.  I’m fine in the social eye as long as I’m in control of the situation?

I have no idea.

This is a lot like a tweet or a facebook status update, only… in blog form.

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Lies my TV told me

Every time I look in the mirror right now I want to go back in time and remember what commercial it was where the attractive young girl said “Acne can last into your 20s” and I want to find those people and the product they make and I want to march into their offices, find the man in charge of creating that commercial, and shake him while saying something like “I’m 34, dammit, you people lied to me!  LIED!”

I have been blessed with great skin for most of my life.  Not that I haven’t had breakouts, because I have, just like everyone else.  There was also a brief period of time in 8th grade where my forehead looked like someone had pinned me down and shot tiny bullets at it for hours.

Anyway.  I’m sure I’m not unusual when I say I normally great a breakout around my period.  Totally normal.  Stupid hormones.

I had a strange period this last time though.  And then it was followed up by like a week and a half of extreme horniness.  Were I married or even in any sort of normal relationship, the man involved would be one happy camper right about now (or hiding from me in a closet because he’s chafed from too much sex, whichever) but I’m not and so this extreme surge in hormones has been interesting to say the least.

Gentlemen, I understand why you sometimes catcall now.

With this surge in hormones?  Oh yeah, I have the worst acne since that stint in 8th grade.  It’s horrifying to me.  I don’t know how to make it stop.  OR make them go away.  I just want to choke that lying bitch on that commercial who made me believe acne would last until I was in my late 20s and then it would be miraculously over.

The TV lies to you people, it lies.

 

Habits

I tend to abandon blogs.  I stop getting the urge to write and then, after a while, it seems too long to go back. This post means I’m not abandoning this one.  I’m coming back to write even though it’s been so long since I’ve written anything.

Anyway, it’s fall, my favorite time of year.  Literally, I feel so alive in the fall.  Whether it’s the coolness of the air, or the gorgeous colors we never get to see for too long in nature, I don’t know…. but I absolutely love every second of it.  It also makes me restless.  Maybe it’s some old evolutionary relic of a desire to head for warmer temperatures before the cold hits, I don’t know.  I just get restless and agitated and I get the urge to create things.

You know the problem with feeling creative?

I’m just not that talented in much.  If I am talented at something creative, I sure haven’t found it yet.  And that’s ok.  Last year I finally got around to painting my bedroom.  I had this wonderful idea in my head and it revolved around this reddish/pinkish berry color.  And I swear on everything good on this Earth, the color below is NOT that color.

 

Seriously, this is not the color I picked out.  I mean, I am not a pink girl.  This is pink.  And the eggshell finish that I’d routinely used around the house made this single wall in my bedroom cast a garish pink light over everything.  I hated it.  I’d never liked it, I never warmed up to it and my bedroom just made me sneer.  So, on a whim, I decided to paint it.  I walked into the paint store and picked a blue.  I’ve always loved blue.  And, half a day later…

 

I had something far more “me” on my hands.  I love this color.  It looks like a navy in the picture but it’s more of a really deep turquoise.  It’s gorgeous.  It’s far more me.  I walk into my bedroom now and smile at this wall.  It’s insane, really, how much difference a little paint can make.  I also had the presence of mind to use a flat paint so the color didn’t bounce around the room.  Lesson learned.

After the wall was done (I moved my king sized bed all by myself.  To my horror, when I got home from the paint store, I found out the bed was NOT on wheels as I had once thought), I really wanted to have a headboard.  I haven’t had one since I moved out of my parents house.  I always feel kind of trashy not having a headboard but I’ve never really done much about it since it’s usually just gobs of money I don’t have… well, the nice ones, anyway.  So I got this hairbrained idea to make my own cloth covered, padded headboard.

And then I went to the fabric store and found out I’d be spending over 100 bucks in fabric, anyway.

So then I went to ebay and bought a really cheap, fabric covered headboard.

And then I think I threw my back out putting it together because it’s sitting in my hallway and I’ve been laid up for days.

So much for that creative urge, eh?

I’ll somehow manage to move my king size bed out from the wall again and attach this sucker to my bed once my back is better.  However, my chiropractor is out of town and so I’ve totally been suffering for far longer than I normally would have been.  In the meantime, that headboard isn’t going anywhere.